As many of you know, burritos are among the most important things in my life. I’ve been pretty honest and open about my adoration of the tortilla tubes for years and on May 19th, 2014 I started a list in my phone simply titled “Burritos”. It lists the date I ate a burrito, how many I had during that sitting, where it was from, and for what meal it was eaten. And I’ve done this for every single burrito I shoveled into my mug for the last three years.
People ask me questions all the time pertaining to my ambitious endeavors. Why I started this venture in the first place is a story for a different day, but for now I’d like to take the time to answer a few of the other burning questions people often ask and acknowledge a few different statistics I’ve compiled over the years.
- What’s your favorite burrito? I get this question all the time and explain it like asking a parent which kid of theirs is their favorite – everyone has one, but they hate admitting it. I don’t want the other places and burritos to get jealous and think I don’t love them even though I might like one just a tiiiiiny bit more. I love all my burritos equally. That being said… it’s the potato burrito from Big City. That’s my favorite burrito in the world.
- What is the best burrito? This question may sound similar to #1, but it is the all-encompassing nature of it that makes it different. Even though it aches me, I will answer which burrito is my But to ask me what the best burrito is in general? Now that is preposterous. Burritos are like shoes; they come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds. Some fit one person better than another and what one you choose to wear is totally up to you. You wouldn’t ask someone “what is the best shoe”, would you?
- How many burritos do you eat a year? I ate 200 my first year, 201 my second, and 211 my third. My goal for the last two years has been to get to that 250 mark but it has managed to elude me both times. I feel like 2017-2018 is the one though. Pray for me.
- Where do you eat the most? With 36 my first year, 31 my second, and 30 my third, Big City Burrito takes the coveted spot of most common place I eat BAEritos. 30 burritos might not sound like a lot from a single place at first, but let me put this into perspective. When I go to Big City, I only go there for one meal a day. When I eat there, I eat only one burrito per meal (unlike Taco Bell or Consuelos, for example). This means that I have chosen to eat at Big City Burrito on at least 30 different days throughout the year. That’s a month. That is a LOT of time spent eating the same delicious burrito.
- What is your longest time between ‘ritos? I have had two exceptionally long stints between burritos and both have occurred by necessity, not choice. The first was while I was traveling South America. I know, I expected a lot more burritos there too! I ended up spending 36 DAYS without the love of my life. The second long period of time was also while traveling. It lasted 32 days and took place while I was in Nepal and Myanmar. Which actually leads me to…
- What is the worst burrito you’ve ever had? Easily the worst burrito I’ve had was one at an 11,500 foot town during the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal. I can’t really describe how terribly low my expectations were for this poor thing, but I saw “buritto” listed on the menu and just couldn’t resist. Now burrito is a generous term, and even “buritto” may be a little too generous for what followed. I was given a sizzling hot plate containing a pita folded in half, stuffed with breakfast beans, and topped with marinara and yak cheese. It tasted unbelievably sweet due to the canned sauce and beans and looked more like some sort of bizarre calzone than it did a burrito. But as I’m a sucker for nostalgia, I ate the whole thing.
- What is your most common meal that you eat burritos? One of the countless reasons I love burritos is that they can be eaten for any meal of the day due to the variety in styles. During my first year, I ate 56 for breakfast, 68 for lunch, and 76 for dinner. However, the following two years, breakfast soared into the number one spot by a long shot. This last year I ate 97 for brekky, squashing the other two meals. I wouldn’t be surprised if sociologists run studies on this venture later on, so I’ll save them the work by telling them my job at the time had a lot to do with the change in this statistic. When you work as a server and your first shift starts at 10 AM, a little brekky ‘rito is the perfect solution for a man on the go.
- What exactly constitutes a burrito? Do tacos or enchiladas count? The short answer is HELL NO! A burrito is a burrito is a burrito. That being said, a chimichanga is a fried burrito so I do count them, literally. In fact, chimis made up 21 of my burritos over the last 3 years.
- Would you rather never eat a burrito again in your life or _____? The answer is always what comes after the “or”. Duh.
While obsessing over charting every single burrito I consume may seem a bit excessive to some, I see it differently. I see an ability to commit to and chase a goal regardless of the outcome or reward. I see someone calculated and consistent. I see someone with such a burning passion for their dreams that they spend countless hours, an obscene amount of money, and a ridiculous amount of effort chasing ‘ritos ‘round the world.
Wait… that would actually be a pretty good title for a Travel Channel show. Anyone want to get me in touch with Anthony Bourdain?
Thanks for reading along. I know writing about statistics can get a little dry sometimes so here are some pretty graphs for hanging in there!